Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Randomize
