some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
