They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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