What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
