Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
