There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
