i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
