May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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