so that wasnt chicken after all
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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