Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I think I just sharted jello shots
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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