He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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