Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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