I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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