that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
NoShamevember. You game?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
