when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize