I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
