I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
