We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
