Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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