She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize