Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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