do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
