well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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