it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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