So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
