You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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