YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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