This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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