Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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