Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
