You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
