That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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