I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
