hell yes lets make some ravioli
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
