She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
