she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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