i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
