Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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