I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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