His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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