is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize