So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
