i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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