Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
