His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
