Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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