i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
