question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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