At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
