Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Who died my cat blue again?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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