I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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