Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize