Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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