You really coming over, don't trick.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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