i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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