youre lurking in front of me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
