I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
