The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
