I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
